Death
Death, rebirth, generally in areas of one’s consciousness. Great change in one’s life.
I opened my eyes an eternity later, and saw that I was still in the chair. I looked around blurry eyed, until I found her looking out into the back yard from the kitchen window. She looked transfixed, but when I moved to stand she must have seen me, for she dashed over as if to help. I weakly pushed her hand away, and then managed to stand, keeping balance with the chair for support. I reached my hand to my forehead, and felt a large band aid.
"It started bleeding again so I thought a band aid might help, you can probably take it off now though, might heal better without something covering it up." She said in an almost meek voice as she looked at everything in the room but me.
I pulled the band aid off in one quick pull; I saw her wince at the implied pain of my action. But in truth the adhesive caused me only little pain. I threw away the blood smeared band aid, and then moved to get a drink.
"Would you like something?" I found myself asking this strange girl, who by all means I could have called the police on her since she had come in without permission. Instead I was opening the cabinet and taking out two cups. She must have been stunned for a moment because she didn't speak. I went the fridge and grabbed the only none water drink, which was orange soda. I poured it into the cups, and handed one to her. "I hope you like orange soda; it's all I have besides water." I said, as if apologizing.
I felt a tinge of actual remorse though, for the fact I had nothing else to offer her, no choices for her other than this, I actually felt... Felt as if I should apologize, sincerely. She took the cup and smiled and took a sip as she let her eyes scan the room. I didn't know what to do so I stood there idiotically until she finally spoke.
"So, where are your parents? Work?" She looked to me with mild curiosity, and my look must have been a mirror. After a moment, when I realized her tone held no mockery, nor courtesy, I laughed hysterically, I laughed until my stomach ached. It was scornful and evil and... And when I looked up I saw the plain look of a child in a room of joking adults.
Clueless.
I pulled a chair out, and sat down across the small table from this girl. I didn't look at her, just swirled the soda in my cup, watching it fizz slightly. When I finally spoke my voice was cold and quiet.
"They've been dead quite some time now, few years at least. I've lived here alone for some time as well." I said it with such venom, as if my pain was caused by her. How was I to know the partial truth, that her existence did cause my pain.
And yet as she stared at her cup of soda, trying not to look at me, I felt a pang of guilt, she had given me a chance, and I just blew it, again I felt alone. But after a moment she looked up, her eyes watery and sad. I felt a twitch of remorse, had I hurt her feelings bad enough that she would cry? But then as she blinked away the mist she murmured something that I couldn't hear. I made a slight inquiry sound, and she finally met my eyes and held them, but her look was apologetic.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know. It must have been so painful for you, here all alone I mean." she said all this as if it was her fault. I looked at her, not as a human, not as something that would hurt me, kill me.
I looked at her like an ally.
